A friend of mine pointed out that I tend to be able to find any life connection to SATC. Okay, I admit it. She’s right. I confess. When I’m feeling low, and lost, and a little dejected—especially when it comes to relationships (or relations), I pull out one of my SATC dvds or select an episode to view on HBO OnDemand! Believe me, there’s a method to my madness! There’s never been a better relationship guide for women.

SATC is like the I Ching for women old enough to pay their own rent. Its like that scene in You’ve Got Mail (which I LOVE, bytheway) when after Meg Ryan hears two different men quote The Godfather (another staple in my life—I own the box set, thank you), when giving her advice, she asks, “What’s with men and ‘The Godfather’?” Tom Hanks’ response, “The Godfather is like the I Ching. The Godfather is the sum of all wisdom. The Godfather is the answer to any question. What do should I pack for my summer vacation? ‘Leave the gun, take the cannoli.’ What day of the week is it? ‘Maunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday.’”

Anyway, I had a conversation this week with a friend of mine about relationships—what a surprise! As usual, I would have to I call on my I Ching for wisdom. We discussed how it seems that some people live these wonderful lives of nothing but happiness, while others of us seem to know only chaos and pain. I reminded her that we should never compare ourselves to anyone else, because we don’t know what their journey is about. I freely admit that I’ve had a moment or two when I’ve wondered what I’d done to deserve the inextricable heartache—or heartbreak that I was drowning in. Why didn’t I deserve to be happy? I remember a few years ago a friend of mine told me, “it was never meant to work with any of those guys—that’s why it didn’t. That’s why it came to an end—for no other reason. None of them was your soulmate.” She said with confidence.

There’s that word again, soulmate! I swear it haunts me. Sometimes I believe it to be an illusive, but tangible figure who’s just around the corner. Then there are times when I’m sure that this soulmate person is just an urban legend! I’ve thought for a moment (as my friend confided she’s also), considered lowering a standard or two, believing that maybe we’d set them too him for any real man to reach. Back to my conversation this week. My friend told me that an Ex of hers recently looked her up (after a few years, some cheating, and mad drama). He told her that he thought he’d made a mistake (when he screwed her over), and that he didn’t feel like his wife was his soulmate.

What? Why do we even have to hear crap like that? What’s the purpose? Should my friend now be questioning if this cheater is her soulmate? Or should she just let it go? Maybe that moment has passed. I wasn’t much help with this topic, I’ve got issues of my own! All I know is I can count the number of happy couples I know on one hand. By happy I mean a relationship that appears (from the outside world) to be one of pure love and reciprocity. I can also think of an abundance of couples that seem way out of balance, really not for me. From the outside, I see compromises that I wouldn’t be comfortable making in my relationship—but who am I to judge.

My friend & I both agreed that what works for some doesn’t work for others. Maybe Carrie said it best when she said, “When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less. Than butterflies...”

I’ve always adored the butterfly.

Until.