I think of the SATC episode when in an attempt to salvage their relationship which hangs on by a mere thread, Carrie and Burger have made up this thing they call their Hollywood kiss. He’s supposed to grab her and throw her back off her feet in a deep passionate “old Hollywood” movie kiss. This movie moment-is the “bit” they do when they’re being “pissy” with each other.

We could all use some magic movie moments in our lives from time to time. I can remember the beginning of a relationship that began like a scene from a romantic comedy, it ended—like something else (but that’s another post for another day)!

Anyway, picture this, it’s a fall day—lots of colorful leaves on the ground and trees. The ground is damp, because it rained the night before. It’s about 10am and I’m walking through Central Park (hey, I just realized I’ve met a few men there—anyway). It’s a weekday—but I didn’t go in to work that day—had some drama w/my truck so I’m on my way home after handling that. Not my cutest day, but I’m dressed in jeans, a hoodie, and my down vest, but my hair is cute—just coincidence though. Anyway, I’m headed home when a tall, chocolate, muscular man with dreads passes. I must confess I have an affinity for this type of man. So of course, he catches my eye and we exchange “goodmornings” as we pass. But since he was so damn cute (and had perfect white teeth), I look back after I pass him and low and behold, he’s looking back at me!!! With a smile, he asks if he could speak to me for a moment, then walks over to me after my coy response, “sure.” He goes on to say that I was “very pretty” and that, “something about your spirit caught me this morning.” Nice right? Yea, well, long story short, after a few more minutes he had the digits. That was a nice day. We even had a movie-like first date at The Bronx Zoo. Anyway, I say all this to say that moments like this are pleasant; they make us feel good, even if they are only temporary.

There are also those movie moments which aren’t so nice, but they still happen to us all the same. It’s the times when, if life was really like a movie, dark and twisted music would play, as a signal that change has arrived. It’s the Aha! moment when the tragic heroine or flawed protagonist looks at this other character, and for the first time, she really sees him as he is. She wasn’t blind before—this isn’t a Helen Keller movie. She’d just convinced herself that things weren’t as they always seemed. She found reasons to explain why he’d done things that he’d done. At this juncture in the film she realizes that, at that moment, he isn’t who she needs him to be. She’s known him for years—but then finally sees him and his intentions with clarity for the first time. She doesn’t blame him though. And she no longer has the strength to be angry, but she’s an ounce wiser thanks to her pain. In the next scene we’d hope that the flawed protagonist gets to walk away before her tears become apparent to this man. Don’t get confused. This character, this man, isn’t the antagonist (or antihero, who wants to bring about the destruction of the protagonist or her wants), although she may feel that at this moment. This man is just a character, like many, in the story of her life.

How many of us are really the protagonist in our own life stories? Are we really the main character in the story of our lives, or are we just extras? How often are we really advocating for our own happiness? Are we really using every occasion to live our best lives? Are we taking opportunities to extend that movie moment, and make it into that happy ending we know we deserve? Or are we playing the role of antagonist in our own lives? Are we constantly in opposition of what we want and deserve? I’ve realized that if you’re leading/living a life of fiction, you can be both the protagonist and antagonist in the story of your life.

Just my thoughts.

Until.