A few days ago, I heard from a friend that I hadn’t spoken to in quite a few months. I had my own suspicions as to what was going on, but that’s me, and it’s cause I know her. It was a conversation long overdue, for both of us. But in the end, it felt good to catch up with my sister, who’d been absent for a while. Sometimes we need that.

As I spoke to my friend I thought of all the transitions that we’d been through (together), as friends. We (my small group of compadres) have supported each other during some shit, for real! We’ve been there through terminal illnesses, pregnancies, academic accomplishments, career failures. We’ve buried-children, parents, siblings and friends. We’ve nursed parents; we’ve been married and divorced, dealt with issues of mental health and physical impairments. We’ve dealt with legal woes and empty pockets. We’ve met new loves and tended to broken hearts-all the while, together.

I’m reminded of the episode of SATC when it’s the question of Soulmates. It’s Carrie’s 35th birthday and due to a series of mishaps everyone who was invited for her birthday dinner turns out to be extremely late—leaving Carrie to sit at the table alone (a table for 10) for quite sometime, until she decides to leave, after having to pay for her own birthday cake. Later with the girls (and a few tears later), “Carrie admits that while she was sitting alone at the table, she felt sad that she was 35 and had no special man in her life.” Recognizing that so many times it’s our girlfriends that carry us through when we feel as though we can’t even crawl, Charlotte offers support by suggesting that they be each other’s soulmates, and that men could just be in their lives for fun.

I can recall a birthday (or 2) when I’ve had that Carrie moment. When the absence of those I deemed as important made me feel as though I was alone, without anyone who loved me—or who would miss me. Hell, I can recall an average day, when I’ve had that Carrie moment, even recently.

We all know the importance of our “girl council” they know us best and have seen us at our worst, that’s why they can call the outcome of a “relationship” long before the first argument or kiss. It’s the reason we often avoid them, when things seem to be going well (it’s that fear of the truth in our face). It’s also the reason we make our nu mates available to them when we want it to be right—we know they’ll identify the makings or demise of our relationships. Even though the decisions are ultimately ours, what they think (whether we decide to take their advice at the moment or not) weighs heavily upon us.

I think of what a friend said after meeting a potential suitor (or at least in her eyes) of mine—“He plays well with others. You can take him out and he won’t embarrass you. And we all like him.” Although that didn’t necessarily translate into the green light for him, it definitely made me reevaluate my relationship with him—I could see the possibilities. And sometimes, it’s the possibilities that keep us afloat.

The saying goes, “heartbreak is life educating us.” As we know, it’s been our girlfriends that have extricated us from our misery when the lessons have been particularly hard.

To my girls, my sisters, I say, thank you!

Until.